PAREDOS agrees time to make parents pay for children’s deviance

By Jenique Belgrave

Director of the Parent Education for Development in Barbados (PAREDOS) Cecily Clarke-Richmond agrees with a teachers’ union that parents should have to pay for any acts of indiscipline or violence carried out by their offspring.

Saying the island is heading down “a slippery slope” as far as lack of discipline in schools is concerned, she stressed that both children and parents must understand that negative behaviours and actions have consequences, with someone having to pay the price.

“I think if parents understand that they will be held accountable, that will bring about some changes in terms of speaking to their children, when they go to school, telling them ‘be careful because I have to pay and I don’t have the money, and if I have to pay, that means that you’re not going to get certain things’,” she said in an interview with Barbados TODAY.

“So I think if parents feel it’s going to hit them in their pockets, I think that would help them to be a little bit more caring in terms of what their children are doing and how their children are behaving.”

Clarke-Richmond was responding to comments by President of the Barbados Secondary Teachers’ Union (BSTU) Mary-Anne Redman, who told Barbados TODAY that with police intervention now making little difference in deterring violence in schools, “the time has long gone for parents to be held accountable for the actions of their children”.

“The present punishment used by schools against indiscipline, disorder and violence does not work. They mean nothing to the students too, because they mean nothing to their parents. There is no reinforcement at the level of the home,” the BSTU head said.

Echoing these sentiments, Clarke-Richmond stated that with some parents even being afraid of their own children, it was critical for the situation to be tackled sooner rather than later.

“We have to start somewhere. I know we have this ‘mash-up and buy back ‘culture and that people can do whatever they feel like doing nowadays, but if you see what is happening with today’s children, if they are allowed to just destroy things and there are no consequences, what are we saying and what is going to happen to our society?

“We are already at the brink where parents are even afraid of their children sometimes. So there is no way that you should be allowed to destroy somebody else’s property and there is no consequence to you or your parents.”

The PAREDOS director noted that one of the reasons behind such behaviour is a lack of proper parenting as many caregivers, due to their own childhood experiences, had adopted a more carefree approach to the role.

“A lot of parents have thrown the baby out with the bathwater. They were raised a certain way and now they’re adults, they don’t want to go down that way, as they felt that they were too restricted. So, therefore, instead of trying your best to instil discipline in your children, trying to get to know your children or have a relationship with them, you decide that the children can do whatever they want and there are no consequences, and we all know the results of that,” she said.

Suggesting ways to stop the slide, Clarke-Richmond said parents must be advised to control their children by instilling rules that are followed in their households, and teaching them how to respect those in authority.

She also encouraged parents to reach out to PAREDOS and other agencies when they need to, emphasising that there was nothing wrong with asking for help.

jeniquebelgrave@barbadostoday.bb