#BTColumn – Christmas for children: it’s more than just gifts!

Anyone who knows me knows how much I (and my blessed mother) adore the Christmas season!

For Christians, it is a time to celebrate our Lord and Saviour’s birth, and many of us do so to the best of our ability. Some of us love (while others endure) the sheer, exhausting excitement of the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping. Who doesn’t enjoy queuing with the horde at 8 a.m., on Christmas Eve at Sheraton? And isn’t it fun to visit Carter’s, H&B, Massy, and Cost-U-Less all on the same day, just before Christmas?

Then there’s venturing into town and Sheraton (and getting into an argument over a man who drove into and stole the parking spot I was reversing into—the last one!). All of this I have done, more than once, often in the same week before Christmas. Yes, I have issues . . . Pray for me.

New curtains, furniture, décor, the great ‘house unmek’, a garden refresh, and a fresh lick of paint outside the home.

Christmas lights and ornaments. Christmas Day or Christmas Eve vigil church service or mass in our ‘brand-new’ outfits.

The fashion promenade through Queen’s Park while listening to the exquisite sounds of The Barbados Police Service Band.

The bounty of gifts for our children. The family gatherings and feasts on Christmas Day. Many of us do what we can, as best we can, especially for our children, as part of that joyous celebration.
We enjoyed our boys’ primary school’s annual Nativity play and ensured they brought Christmas gifts to be shared with children who did not have their privileges.

We have three adult young men now. But as I look back on how we brought Christmas to life for them, I wish I had taken more time to emphasise the true values that underpin the Christmas spirit, which too often are overshadowed by the secular, material trappings of the season. The available Christmas ornaments alone tell the tale: we see more Santa Claus, Rudolph, elves, and nutcrackers than Nativity scenes!

Understandably, most children—certainly ours did—first and foremost associate Christmas with ‘me’ (receiving gifts) rather than ‘thee’ (helping others).

The Christmas season offers a great opportunity for parents to teach children important values, while still celebrating family togetherness and balancing the secular and material aspects of the season. I was moved recently to hear a young mother talking to her primary school-aged girls about their annual Christmas tradition of feeding the less fortunate! How beautiful to entrench that sense of service at such a young age!

While many parents encourage their children to think of others, it really drives the message home when children actively participate in helping others. Seeing peers their age who lack what they take for granted helps them to be less self-centred and to value what they have instead of yearning for what others have. It’s not easy, and we’re all busy, but could more of us at least try? Schools, churches, and service organisations offer wonderful initiatives in which our children can take part.

If I could share one message with younger parents, it would be to talk to their children early about the values underpinning Christmas and to make the season a learning opportunity for building their character:

Christmas is for giving, not just receiving

Empathy is an important trait we can nurture early in our children. Encourage them to give gifts to children less privileged than they are. This teaches the importance of sharing and the joy it brings while reminding them how fortunate they are.

Celebrating love and gratitude

Christmas is a time to be thankful for loved ones and to express love. Imagine the joy of a handwritten note from a child to their grandparent! Teaching children that a gift doesn’t need monetary value to be meaningful helps them understand that love and thoughtfulness are priceless.

Real family bonding

Modern life makes it difficult for extended families to spend time together. Christmas gatherings are vital for this, but children may not understand the significance unless we articulate it. When together, we should set aside gadgets and truly interact, fostering relationships and reducing self-absorption.

Being helpful

I regret not asking our boys to help more with Christmas preparations, other than decorating the tree. Assigning ageappropriate tasks teaches helpfulness, instils an appreciation for the effort involved, and creates bonding opportunities.

The importance of moderation

Children today are surrounded by materialism. As parents, while we want to give them the world, teaching simplicity is valuable. For every new toy or game, perhaps they can donate an old one? Limiting the number of gifts can also encourage them to value each one more.

Building community

Our neighbourhoods often lack the community spirit of old. During Christmas, could we engage other children in activities like sweets exchanges or carolling? Perhaps our children could offer tokens to garbage collectors or postal workers? Building community and respect for others can begin at any age.

Children should not feel ashamed of looking forward to Christmas gifts. But as we try to make the season special for them, let’s also consider those families who wish to do the same but lack the financial means. Christmas is a wonderful opportunity to reinforce the Christian values at the heart of the season, which we aim to live throughout the year.

Wishing the Barbados TODAY team and loyal readers a most blessed, safe, and Merry Christmas season and a wonderful 2025!

Paula-Anne Moore is spokesperson and coordinator of Group of Concerned Parents of Barbados Caribbean Coalition for Exam Redress.