A tangled web…
I have a real big problem and I ain’t sure who else to ask. Right now I real frighten because I know my father will kill me if he find out. When they had the last Cavalcade at the Stadium I was not supposed to go, but I went. I told my dad I was going to music lessons and that afterward we were having a social so I would get home late. He trusted me and he did not say anything.
But I never went to music, I want to the Cavalcade with two friends from school and these two fellows. One of them had a car. During the Cavalcade I left with one of the fellows to go and get something to eat and then we went down Brandon’s Beach and park to eat. It was nice and fun to be out of the confines of my dad, and, as you might guess by now, one thing led to another.
I had sex for the first time. I should have known better and I should have insisted that he use a condom, but I did not. Now I am pregnant… Well at least I have not had a period since then and my body feels different.
What really hurts is that there is no one for me to talk too. I live with my dad, my mother lives in England and she does not communicate with us. I can’t even think about telling my dad, who by the way is a pastor, and I can’t talk to anyone because they will tell him. I am suffering alone and feel sometimes like I would kill myself — not that I want to. I just want someone to tell me what to do.
I have not seen or heard this boy since then, although he was telling me then how nice I was and how he wants to be my boyfriend for life. I feel so stupid, and used, and my dad is going to see me as such as disappointment. Can you tell me where I can get an abortion and how much it will cost, and how it can be done without my dad knowing?
— 17 and In Trouble Big
Since Yuh Ask, 17 AITB, understand that everyone makes mistakes and a mistake is not the end of the world. I am sure your dad made lots of mistakes in his time, and he is probably firm and protective because he does not want you to do the same.
The fact that it was your first sexual encounter suggest that you are not promiscuous and I am sure you father recognises this quality in you. I suspect that his real disappointment will come from the fact that you lied to him.
If there is a family doctor that you attend then I suggest you go speak to him or her, and explain your problem. If the doctor is so inclined he or she might be willing to help you break the news to your dad. If that does not work out then ask the doctor to recommend a colleague who will do a medical termination, then you should have a long discussion with him/her before you make up your mind.
Above all that though, I believe you should manage your fear, sit and tell your dad your problem and ask him to forgive you. He will be mad, but I am sure since it is just you two, he will not throw you to the wolves. His Christian principals will not let him do that.
By the way, that Cavalcade was a while ago, so you need to act quickly.
Let me know how things work out, and good luck.