The poor choices of spouses are but one of the reasons why there are problems in relationships and by extension problems in fatherhood.
Youth advocate Corey Worrell made this observation last night at Bureau of Gender Affairs-organised panel discussion on Fatherhood: Defining The Role of Men in Today’s Society.
Worrell told a small gathering in the Queen’s Park Steel Shed for the forum also partnered by the Barbados Youth Development Council that many of the challenges he saw with relation to the role of fathers, seemed to stem from relationships.
“I believe that we as men have set some poor, poor examples and we got a lot to answer for as it relates to what we have portrayed as leaders, as to how we have treated women, the responsibilities that we shirk, we got a lot to answer for.
“I believe too that many of us, both men and women have made some poor choices with spouses. That is the truth. I honestly believe women are to blame for some of the poor men that they have chosen, and I believe men are to blame for some of the poor choices in women…
“I believe if you go to a $5 fete you gine find a $5 man and if you go to a $5 fete you gine find a $5 woman. But what has happened is that when they start to display that, you have a problem with it, but where ya went and find them?” Worrell queried, as some of the audience agreed.
Another challenge in society, he said, stemmed from what he termed a preoccupation with “instantism”.
“[A]ll of us are guilty, none of us can say we are not. If you send a BB message and the person doesn’t respond immediately, we upset. If de microwave in we house brek down it is one of de first things we gine get. We ain’t even fixing it, we gine go and buy one de same night. Go home now and somebody lef’ de cordless phone and it dead, or go home and can’t find de remote control and it send we crazy. We live in an instant world.”
By comparison, he said: “I would like somebody to do a study to find out how quick some of us in our relationships engage in sexual activity. Everything is so fast. You see a lot of relationships as soon as it start the focus is sex, out of that come children and then you start to see de breakdown.
“We got a lot to answer for and we as adults got to check ourselves and the examples we setting. Imagine children doing de same thing we does do and we does complain.”
Worrell, also a motivational speaker and Christian, said he believed society had to ask itself where it was getting its standards on the role of men.
“Man and woman both have different views of life and we were built that way. Once we get men right, we get fathers right and once we get fathers right, we get society right. Men are the leaders of the home and women are the managers of the home, equal roles just different responsibilities,” he concluded. (LB)