Season’s greetings and I sincerely wish you and the staff at Barbados Today all the best for the coming year.
I’m writing this letter on Christmas Day, having spent it alone and I suspect that my Old Year’s night will be the same way.
My husband is involved with another woman and it is causing me so much grief.
Before we were married I knew he used to cheat on me. It’s like some disease he has and he can’t seem to quit or he simply doesn’t want to.
Even though we were standing at the altar and he promised to love me forever, I knew that he would still wander and have other women.
And that is exactly what has happened.
Why don’t I leave him? That’s easy, because he helped me leave my ghetto life behind for something way better. I got a good education, a way better life than the one I had before and a name. The only problem is that my husband cheats and seems to want other women.
I’m tired, especially with his latest fling because he seems to be in love with her. The other women came and went but this one seems to be here to stay. He’s always with her and although she’s never called or approached me, she’s a threat.
What should I do to win back my husband who’s a well known person? What should I do to make him happy?
Since Yuh Asked, AG, here’s my answer. You are not going to win back your husband unless he wants to come back. People keep thinking that they can do this or that to make a partner into what they want. It does not happen so. If he wants to eat his cake and have it too, as it is clear he does, that is what he will do — unless you decide you will not be an occasional slice of cake for anyone.
You need to muster the strength to say you have had enough, and you need to drag out that inner self-confidence that is buried in all of us and decide that you will move on.
The problem is that as long as he is satisfied that you will tolerate his behaviour he will continue to have both you and the outside woman. Be thankful that he was the type who provided the opportunities for you to have a better life, but being thankful does not mean that you have to accept whatever he throws at you now.
So get up, let the man know that you will no longer stand for his behaviour, and if he is not willing to be faithful, then you must be willing to move on. I wish you all success.