This problem is one I have been grappling with for a while.
I was laid off more than a year and although I’ve managed to find temporary jobs here and there, I would like something a bit steadier. I’m not complaining because I don’t need anything.
My problem is my mother.
She asked me to move back in with her because she thought I wouldn’t be able to manage on my own, seeing that I’m only 25 and her only child and jobless.
She wants to tell me what to do, what time I should go to sleep, what time I should wake up, who I should talk to, what I should eat and if I should hang out with my friends or not.
I’m a man. She taught me how to fend for myself. I can cook, wash, and clean up after myself and around the house.
The only reason I moved back home is because I felt obligated because she told me she needed my help with supermarket shopping, cleaning up around the house and running other errands such as paying the bills.
She is not old and has the world of friends. My dad died when I was 20 and left us a tidy sum but I couldn’t get her to go for a cruise, go shopping for new clothes, or even treat herself to lunch at the Cliff or Hilton which is something she always spoke about doing.
I need my life back but I don’t want to hurt my mother’s feelings. She has no job, no siblings and her parents died years ago so I’m literally all she has left.
I can’t go on like this.
She told me last week when one of my female friends called that if I want to get married she wants us to live with her cause she wants to raise her grandkids.
That scares me because I want to travel the world before I even think about settling down.
Since Yuh Asked, RC, I have not figured out what the problem is you are complaining about. Your mother wants you to live at home and run a few errands for her while she takes care of you — so what?
You are in a situation many people would die for. Look, enjoy the “old lady’s” company and allow her to spend her sunset years with some peace of mind. If she tells you what time you should come in, then hear her, be polite, nice and loving to her, then get on with your business. She’ll fret for a little while and then she will settle down. But guess what, deep inside she will be happy because you are still there.
And what if she wants you to live at home with your wife once you get married? It seems she taught you well, and chances are she will teach her grand children even better. Again, how many people do you know who would be glad for quality family care for their children?
It seems like the perfect opportunity for you to travel the world as you wish — with the comfort of knowing that your children are in the best of hands.
Look, stop complaining, run the few errands, give the woman some grand children and be happy.
Leave the space for people who really have problems to write me.