by Donna Sealy
Sometimes life doesn’t go the way you planned.
But you learn to adapt.
That could be Teshia Hinds’ story.
Sitting with LOVING ME on Tuesday evening at Divi Southwinds Beach Resort she spoke about parenting, it’s highlights, about being a mother and a wife (yup she’s been married for seven years to the love of her life Roland after being together forever!!).
After years of saying she didn’t want children or to be married she’s loving these aspects of her life.
Teshia doesn’t have a 9 to 5 like some mothers, or fathers for that matter, and given the uncertainty that comes with the job in terms of long hours and having to be flexible enough to cover breaking news or pull an extra shift, when the need arises.
There are days when the host of the MidMorning Mix Show on CBC TV8, she doesn’t get to pick her daughter Alyssa up from school at Wills Primary and she’s not always there when she goes to sleep but she’s there to wake her in the morning, √† la Diana Ross.
“I feel guilty about not picking her up but I spoke to my mother about it and she said quality time is a whole lot more important that quantity time, so just make the time that you’re available count. My mother used to work long hours too, she would go to work for 7:30 in the morning and I’d be up and at work with her. My school was a little ways from way she worked and she would take me over to school when she heard the bell ring and come back when she heard it.
“To be away from her so much, I have a lot of help in terms of family support. My husband’s mother, my husband, my mother, my sisters,” she said.
Teshia has been working at the state owned station for 13 years where she started out on radio.
During the very candid interview during which she spoke about losing her first baby and being scared while pregnant with Alyssa.
“The pregnancy was weird because I had a baby before, who came early and died. It was a baby boy. That was the year before I had her and when I got pregnant with her it was really tough especially coming up to seven months. When I finally passed that I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.
“It was very nerve wracking because they did not know why the baby came early in the first instance and I was scared. I tried to get pass it and when I got passed it, it was easier,” she said pensively.
She recalled that during her first pregnancy, her work mates and friends did not believe her.
“I told my mother and she was ‘yeah?’. I used to tell everybody I don’t want children. I never really wanted children then I was like ‘I think I really want to have children’ and I want to have children before I’m 30,” she said with a laugh.
As she ran around the play park, Teshia kept an eye on her baby girl who seems more like 14 or 40 than four.
“She gives me bear talk, I don’t know where she got it from. When I was her age I wasn’t so bold. She’s the teenaged me, every thing I want to tell people she tells them,” Teshia said and backed up her statement with stories.
One thing the Loving Me team noticed immediately was that she wasn’t afraid to get dirty with Alyssa, who by the way spelt her name.
“At school she has older friends. She went to Wills when she was three, and she as coming home saying ‘I have a friend name Chelsea’. When I saw her she was in [Class 4]. She’s friends with all the older children” Teshia recalled, before giggling.
Choosing a school for her daughter where she would flourish was important.
“I went to public school, I have nothing against public school. I think it is awesome but I was going to try her with Wills for just one year because she was three and then put her in public school but she’s getting comfortable, the curriculum was nice, the classrooms are small, they’re 20 students and two teacher’s aides in her class alone so they get individual attention,” she explained.
She loves the fact that Alyssa’s very aware of major events taking place in Barbados as well and has a chance to take part in several activities at the school.
For her striking a balance is important.
She wants her baby to have the same happy fun filled childhood she did so even though she takes her to her school fairs, she takes her for drives or the evenings that she’s free they go to the beach at Accra and splash in the water or play in the sand.
For fun, she said she takes her to the nearest park and let her run free.
“She knows what she wants. She would tell me momma I want to go to a hotel and swim in the pool. I guess too because she’s an only child she goes off and plays by herself a lot,” she said.
Anyone who knows Teshia knows she loves to laugh, it is something that Alyssa has also picked up on.
“Sometimes I raise my voice, that’s the bad in mummy. Sometimes if I get upset I would raise my voice until one day she said to me, “mommy I want to speak with you in your room’. So I followed her down the corridor into my room and she said ‘I don’t like it when you shout at me. It hurts my feelings and I don’t think you should do it anymore’. I said, ‘I don’t mean to but I don’t know what to do sometimes when I’m frustrated and it comes out like that and it comes out like that. She said ‘okay’ and went on her jolly way,” Teshia said.
Her mother advised her on what to do and she has sorted that out that issue.
When she took a break from running around, Alyssa came over to where her mum was sitting and said “I adore you mommy. I adore you!” which was followed by a hug.
Alyssa’s sense of reasoning is great for a child who’s only four. She said she likes bright colours such as purple, blue, red, green but she doesn’t like grey or black.
She’s also a picky eater preferring tuna dip with whole wheat crackers, and ham sandwiches which she calls sammis.
Having said all that, Teshia said her biggest hope is for her daughter to have a really good childhood.
“What scares me most is the fact that you don’t get a do-over when it comes to children, you only get one chance at it so I don’t want to mess it up. Being in the media and you see all the negative stuff that happens so I think it really warps your view of the world.
“So I am always kind of super protective. I always tell her I don’t want you out of my sight, no matter where we go. I think that’s the only thing for me. So I’m always skeptical about everybody and everything just because of the stories I know. I don’t want to hold her too close because I know how that can go too,” Teshia said.
That apart, she’s enjoying being a mom. firstname.lastname@example.org