I just have one question for you: Do you think I am evil? I don’t think so, but my best friend is always telling me so, but the truth is I feel really good. And you want yo know why? My mother has always treated me like a dog. My father left her when she was pregnant with me and it seems like for all these years she has blamed me.
I cannot remember a time when my mother did not curse me, slap me, shove me around, leave me at home alone — you name it she did it to me. And would you believe that my older sister never said a word to help me. As a matter of fact, she treated me the same way. It was like whatever mum did to me, she did too and that seemed to please my mother even more.
I can’t remember how many times I heard how if it was not for me her husband would still be here, and that I will be no good.
Well, from the time I realise that my mother could not care less if I passed the Common Entrance or not, it was as though a different spirit came over me. I told myself I had to do well and I did. I got good marks and went to one of the older secondary schools.
Each year my neighbour went with me to collect my textbooks because my mother could not be bothered. I got two uniforms to last a whole year and I cared them like they were gold. I learnt early to wash and press them myself and to use needle and thread at the first sign of a tear.
I did not get brand name shoes and bag, but my aim was to prove to my mother that she could not make me a failure. I also made up my mind I would not be like them and treat people badly and as a result people at school respected me. When I did not have lunch I ate at the canteen for free, because others saw good in me.
I left secondary school and went on to university and got my degree and I am now working for my masters. My sister on the other hand, remained the apple of my mother’s eye, but left school with one certificate because she felt she did not have to work for anything.
While she could bring her boyfriend to the house and he would be there until midnight, I remember one day I tried to introduced a school friend to my mother when he stopped by, and that was the last time I invited anyone to the place I called home. My mother said so many nasty things about me to that boy in front of me you would not believe I am her flesh and blood.
I know you are asking where the evil I asked about up front came from. Well, I got even with my mother long ago by being successful with my education, and a few weeks ago I got even with my sister too. She would always be flaunting her man in my face, telling me how I could never get a man like him. He looks good, has a good paying job and drives a BMW.
Her special man, who I care nothing for, has been making passes at me for months, and a few weeks ago when he came I gave him everything. And a couple times since that too. Now I am waiting for the next time she opens her big mouth and tells me about here man. I am not just going to tell her, and make sure that her mother, my mother, hears, but I am going to show her the picture I took. I am hoping she will have a heat attack or a nervous breakdown. And I know my mother will feel it just as much.
My whole life I have suffered at the hands of these two wicked people, but now I am ready to reap sweet revenge. Now, do you think I am evil?
Look Who’s Smiling Now
Since Yuh Asked, LWSN, I’m not even going to hesitate on this one: Don’t do it! You are no longer a little girl and you have already won by proving that even without resources and support you can overcome evil. You have already made one mistake by sleeping with a man who clearly can’t love your sister, but you don’t know what will happen if you let them know — they may do you serious harm. They may kill you!
If you must, take your satisfaction from the fact that you have been to bed with your sister’s man, you don’t need to rub it in their faces. And I don’t think you are evil, I believe you are human and you have reacted to a lifetime of abuse.
But you have proven the extent of your strength. Move on with your life, work on your Masters and retain the strength and character that drew others to you in your childhood days. You can do it, and I sincerely wish you every success. But delete that picture and keep you bedroom exploits to yourself.