I want you to listen carefully to my problem, because I know there are a lot of people out there always waiting to criticise without the facts. Every day you does hear people talking about all these fat women in Barbados, and you would think that only women ’bout here fat.
Now listen to me. I am 43 and look damn good, and dress to suit. I don’t leaving home looking shabby — and even with two children I look better that most of these young girls ’bout here. But my problem is my husband. When we first met he looked really good and took care of himself.
Now, you would think he is 60. He belly big from drinking every beer and gas of rum that pass in front of he nose. He look twice as bad a Gorg.
And he ain’t only let his body go to waste, he just would not bathe regularly or properly. He is always sweaty and smelly and I have stopped going out with him and I have not had sex with him for more than six months because I can’t take a man who looks like that.
Don’t get me wrong, he is still kind and loving and supports the family, he still does things around the house and he offers good advice whenever there is a problem. But my mind is turned off from the physical, and I just can’t seem to reverse it.
Am I wrong for wanting back the man that I fell in love with? I have spoken to him but he still does nothing about it. And the truth is, while I have not been with anyone else, recently I have been finding men who look good quite attractive. I have cravings, but not for 1,000 pounds of blubber.
Since Yuh Asked, DW, I must say that I understand and empathise with you, but when you got married you took vows and one of these said something about “for better or for worse”. Consider this the “for worse” part and make up your mind to stand by your man and help him to fix his problem.
Keep in mind what you said about his drinking, that really is the root and must be attacked, not the weight per se. You seem to suggest that you have a good husband — weight and hygiene problems notwithstanding — and you therefore have a duty to help him over this rough period.
Remember what the old people used to say, “You know what yuh got; but you don’t know what yuh gwine get”. You may find the perfect body in someone else and all the hell that could come with it. Work with what you have, since it basically seems to be good raw material.