I have listened attentively to this domestic violence chatter, and quite frankly I just had to say, WOW.
Surely, it has been a display of ignorance in every aspect of the word.
I have heard Biblical references to support what is masked in some quarters as — wait for it, wait for it — love.
Clearly some Christians believe that being submissive means that a woman is to lie dormant until the man in her life says otherwise. Nonsense!
But I have heard some skirt around and others apologise after saying it and some hinting at it. But I will say it — some women are to blame for the constant abuse they receive.
It is not love that causes you to cuff a woman, or slap her around the head, or curse and degrade her or stab her. Those things are the results of anger, frustration, arrogance, jealousy, and other vices. Least we forget — “Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
How can we get it into the heads of our young woman that no man has the right to hit them?
Then there was the joker in the newspaper who said men used to hit women and put them in their place and they understood what was their role but now as you hit a woman it is abuse and they are all about the place doing as they like.
This is not about social science, this is about common sense. If someone hits you and they didn’t kill you on that occasion, they will hit you again. It has happened before and it will continue to happen.
It is not your fault when you have been abused, it is your fault when you are abused constantly. Some people have a strange notion of what love is or should be, but let this be your yard stick — if God has not done it to you no one has the right to.
But domestic violence is not limited to a man beating a woman, any beating in the home is domestic violence.
The thing is, with education, I really thought this ignorance was behind us.
I grew up in a neighbourhood where there was a house where some serious blows used to share. The man was the man and everyone else in the house was under him, and he was right. He was right when he was angry, he was right when he was wrong, he was right when he was drunk, he was always right. And he was made to feel he was right because everybody took their blows and went along.
Unfortunately, I believe the domestic violence is here to stay.
When we continue to pit man against woman, it will manifest itself violently. If we continue to fool ourselves with healthy competition violence can occur. When we beat our children at home and then talk pretty about alternative form of discipline, we are fostering violence.
Beating up women, beating up on anyone is a thing of that past. It is a part of our past we did not enjoy. It is a part of our past that our fore-parents fought to get away from. Having escapes this cruel treatment why are we imposing it on others.
The sad thing is we only call it domestic violence when someone dies or is seriously injured.
What is it when the “manager” beats his wife and she covers the bruises with make-up or the doctor who puts her hand in a cast as a family friend?
Is that any different to the woman with six children from nine different relationships and takes the blows because she wants the money?
We need to stop beating and brutalising each other and begin to love — we all have ability in the palm of our hands, to love, to share only love.