There’s a saying and I think it was TC who sang, “you know what you got don’t know what you will get”. Well I want to say that is so true.
My best friend has never been happy with her life.
From the time we met at secondary school she always wanted somebody else’s life. She often said she hated being poor and complained bitterly about where she lived, having to bring to school lunch, which, mind you most of us did. Back in those days nobody thought to buy lunch from the canteen on a regular basis — we bought drinks but not food.
My family was not well off either and they drilled into our heads the importance of learning to get a better life.
After we left school, my friend met a man whose family was well off. She did everything she could to please them, so much so they pushed their son to marry her. I was happy for her and for him because he loved her and wanted to please her no matter what.
But the more he gave her the more she wanted and wanted until he was spending so much time at work to ensure he could get promotion after promotion.
That woman turned around and used that against him. Said he was spending too much time at work and she was not happy.
She met another man who she said was satisfying her needs and had an affair which broke her husband’s heart. No matter how many times I spoke to her she wouldn’t stop.
I was there for her husband and asked him not to file for divorce. I wasn’t married or involved with anyone and spent a lot of my time at their home trying to talk some sense into her.
She wouldn’t listen.
She moved out and said the man she promised to love forever wasn’t giving her love and she wanted a divorce.
Still I asked him not to give up on her and he refused to sign those papers.
Eventually that man she moved in with beat her senseless after he realised she had no money or not enough to satisfy his craving for the big life.
She called me one night, crying and begged me to come get her. I did because she was my friend. I took her to a doctor to get her cleaned up, and then I took her home to her husband who took a few days off from work to take care of her.
I decided to write because this young woman I work with was talking about how unhappy she was with her life and her husband and that he “can’t afford her”. She was seriously contemplating having an affair with a manager we all know beats his wife and all the women he’s had affairs with.
We in the office know all about them, not only because he brags, but because he’s had quite a few of the “replacements” as we call them. When he treats them like dirt they have to be replaced.
He beats them, threatens them and then pays them off so they won’t run to the police.
I didn’t tell my co-worker about my best friend but I think I will after sharing it with the rest of the world.
— Through Thick And Thin
Since Yuh Asked TTAT, there is absolutely nothing I need to add to your letter. It is there for all to read and digest. What I will comment on is the fact that you have demonstrated the true meaning of friendship. We need to learn that being a friend is not about judging, but being there and giving advice and direction when needed, even if they are not accepted.