#BTColumn – Needs and wants

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by this author are their own and do not represent the official position of the Barbados Today.

by Julia Hanschell

As November begins, I reminisce on all the years we have been blessed to have received both needs and wants, in ample measure, as Christmas presents.

This year our needs ARE our wants. I need and want to hug my children but one is marooned in Asia while another is on the frontline of medicine, now locked down in the UK.

In re-calibrating our lives, this pandemic has truly affected us mentally far more than physically. We feel helpless and we are battling hopelessness daily.

The last Christmas I remember receiving a gift I absolutely hated was when I was twelve. It was a stack of books from my father, who thought I would love to ‘get lost in them’. It
was a thoughtful gift, and one which had been carefully and lovingly chosen.

But, you see, at that age, while I could read at adult level, I was unable to transpose the words into images. I made no ‘movie in my head’, so the words meant nothing. I still prefer audio books and movies.

I am no different from many students I know. Except, I constantly CHASE exposure and discomfort to force new thinking. I learn best by stories that make me reflect, identify, feel and question. My identity comes from growing myself internally through external input. Truth is, that’s what Millennials are doing as well, just through different channels and with ‘snippets’.

An interesting study was done at the College of Western Ontario aiming “to discover if there are differences in undergraduates’ traits (subjective happiness, grit, academic entitlement, fixed mindset, and narcissism), across generations (Gen X to Gen Z), as study habits become more distracted
by social media.”

Some findings on how Social Media Distractions Affect Traits: “differently across generations. Attention has cognitive and biological constraints, which are ignored as people become hyper-connected to social media (Gonçalves, Perra1, & Vespignani1, 2011). The average Facebook user connects with more than triple the number of individuals a person can maintain stable relationships with (Alloway, Runac, Qureshi, & Kemp, 2014).”

“All this social media consumption impacts society as real-world connections are being displaced by digital ones. Narcissism increases through excessive social media use, while empathic skills and life satisfaction decline (Chan, 2014). Unrestrained consumers experience emotional exhaustion (Sriwilai & Charoensukmongkol, 2015) and impaired cortisol recovery (Rus & Tiemensma, 2017). Rather than serving as stress relievers, digital social networks are more alienating than supportive — particularly for young people (Curran & Hill, 2017).”

As we all crave connection MORE now, what is the balance that could bridge the world of information for raising academic achievement, through new knowledge, while communicating socially to sustain ourselves emotionally?

My opinion is that our children need to replace ‘snippets’ by experiencing ‘stories’. In my ‘Adulting’ class I prescribe a lot of movies.

The objective is to generate a deeper observation and discussion for growth, driven by self-reflection. Movies like ‘In Time’, ‘Passengers’ and the ‘Black Mirror’ depict worlds that are NOT far-fetched. In discussing them, we look at adult choices and the irrevocability of just being human, regardless of the world we live in.

Yet, these are not stories our children would WANT to watch. They are craving connection for validating their social identity rather than what will provoke thinking for the world of their future and the identity that is their destiny.

So, it’s not so much a case of ‘too much’ Social Media, but WHAT they access. My advice is to watch movies with your children. Films that depict integrity like “Hacksaw Ridge”, character like, “Invictus” tolerance and empathy like, “Moonlight” and those that inspire anger through injustice like, “12 Years a Slave”, “The Duchess” and “Hidden Figures”.

Anyone can ponder the message without embracing the topic.

Feeling inspires thought and thought finds language to express awareness. Students need to develop language more than ever before. Evocative communication is the foundation of all change. Our world needs CHANGEMAKERS!

Your children may not WANT this because they are unaware that they NEED it.

We are fighting two battles with Gen Z. First, they do not know where to find what they NEED and secondly, they do not know what they WANT.

This is a ‘multipotentialite’ generation on the cusp of two worlds – entrenched in the traditional expectations of the old, while not knowing HOW to start conquering the new. They see global problems as remote and they recognize they do not have the information, understanding or skill set to get started in solving them.

Students of History and Literature have an advantage, but these are tough subjects to master, so few students choose them.

We know the Science subjects inspire the problem-solvers of the future, but it’s those exposed to History and Literature who become the CREATIVE, INSIGHTFUL problem-solvers. They ‘get IT’ at a far more meaningful level.

If you, as parents, feel helpless, select movies beyond comfort zones and WATCH THEM WITH your children. There is no doubt that this Christmas will be about PRESENCE, rather than presents. So, give them the gift of your time. They may not WANT it, but they surely NEED it.

Julia Hanschell can be contacted on smartstudying@gmail.com.