#BTColumn – Destroying innocence

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by this author are their own and do not represent the official position of the Barbados Today.

by Grenville Phillips

“But it makes no sense,” argued Joseph. “I am the only person who will be using the textbooks.” His mother allowed Joseph to vent. He felt disrespected at being told to send a parent to school to sign the textbook loan agreement. “Why can’t I do it? This is so embarrassing!” he shouted.

Jenny winced but tried not to show it.

“Was he embarrassed of me?” she thought.  But she quickly forced that thought down.

She knew that Joseph was at an age where he wanted to be more independent and was pushing against the boundaries that she and his father had set. He was probably embarrassed about being treated like a child, she reasoned.

Jenny had learnt to nimbly reinterpret Joseph’s words and actions, to avoid these conversations escalating to where they were both angry. Be the adult in the room, she reminded herself.

From being a rather compliant child, Joseph was now a 15-year-old, arguing about the unfairness of any rule. His nine-year-old brother was a little easier to manage, but only a little. In the past week, he started to mimic his older brother’s resistance to everything.

Idiotic rules

After Joseph had exhausted his frustration with what he called idiotic archaic rules, he finally seemed ready to listen. God, give me wisdom, Jenny thought.

“Joseph, the rule is there to protect you.” Joseph exploded, and went on another rant that seemed to never end. Then she thought of a different strategy.

“Joseph, I agree with you,” she interrupted. Joseph immediately started protesting, but then pulled-up when his brain registered what his ears had just heard – agreement.

“Well… so … what are we going to do about this idiotic unfairness?” he asked.

Everything seemed idiotic to him these days, but Jenny hoped that it was just a phase.

Jenny started again. “Let us understand why the rule was made and then let us see how it may be changed.” This time it was Joseph’s turn to agree.

“Joseph, we have agreed as a nation, that our children cannot be legally bound by contracts. This is not to punish or disrespect them. It is because most of them are not able to bear the consequences if they fail to do what they promised to do,” Jenny explained.

“But if I lose a book, I do not mind paying for it,” Joseph countered. “Yes, Joseph, I am sure that you would not mind.
But are all students able to pay for the cost of lost books?” Jenny asked.

“No, not all of them,” Joseph said. “So, the rule is there to protect those who cannot bear the consequences if the books are lost,” she explained.

“Do you think that most students want to be held liable for paying for lost books?”  Jenny pressed. “Probably not,” Joseph admitted. “So, the rule is there to protect all students, whether they want to be protected or not,” Jenny concluded.

“Fine mom,” said Joseph as he walked to his bedroom. I suppose this is the most that I can expect from him at this stage,
Jenny thought.

The tablet

Just then, Alex came out of the bedroom he shared with his brother. He was hungry and wanted a snack. For the past week, Alex was spending most of the time in his bedroom. He had received a tablet from the school.

It seemed that the school was either assigning a lot more homework, or Alex was taking a while learning how to use the tablet.

Jenny appreciated the donation. It would have been inconvenient to share her computer with Alex during the COVID-19 school-from-home order. Joseph entered the bedroom and noticed the image on Alex’s tablet – it was pornography.

Joseph felt immediate guilt. He was given a smartphone when the schools first allowed their use. One of the first things that he and his friends did was to search the unlimited amount of free pornography available to them.

At first, he was embarrassed, but he soon decided that if he was not supposed to watch it, he would not have been given access to it.

Now, he was addicted to it, and knew that Alex could not bear that burden. “Alex, what is this!” demanded Joseph when Alex returned. Alex was embarrassed, but decided to be defiant, “That is my TV show”, he said.

Alex did not know what to say or do. “How could the school make the same idiotic mistake with Alex as it had made with him?” he thought.

Joseph began to think about liability and contracts. He was not allowed to sign a contract to pay for something with instalments but could make one time payments for computer supplies.

He could buy food, but not alcohol or cigarettes. “If these rules are made to protect children, why are schools giving primary school children easy access to pornography?”
he wondered.

Grenville Phillips II is a Chartered Structural Engineer. He can be reached at NextParty246@gmail.com.