#BTColumn – Weep not for me

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by Guy Hewitt

In the Book of Ruth, we read of the grief of Naomi, whose husband and two sons die. When she returns to her hometown Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred with a sense of loss; and the women ask, “Is this Naomi?” and she said to them, “Call me no longer Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt bitterly with me.

“I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty; why call me Naomi when the Lord has dealt harshly with me, and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” Ruth 1:20 Many of us have experienced Naomi’s dismay and sense of emptiness on the loss of loved ones. I lost an elder sister as a child and my father as a teenager and know the sense f devastation that death brings.

Such loss was amplified during the COVID-19 pandemic as over five million people, some from our parish, some in our families, were unexpectedly taken from us.

Grief is not something you get over. You don’t wake up one morning and say, ‘I’ve conquered that; now I’m moving on.’ It’s something that travels with you. But grief is part of life’s journey, not a destination, so over time we must learn how to manage it and in so doing honour those we love but see no more.

But there is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than a thousand words. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep loss, and of unforgettable love.

It is understandable to sorrow when loved ones depart. We miss them and it is natural to feel grief; recall that Jesus wept at the grave of his friend Lazarus.

However, our faith tells us we should not hold to despair but be encouraged by the hope and promise our Lord gives us of the resurrection to eternal life.

The celebration of All Souls’ Day to commemorate the faithful departed is relatively new to the Anglican Church.

However, since the eighth century, Roman Catholics have celebrated All Saints’ Day on 1 November.

November 1, drew on the ancient Celtic New Year celebration on that day. All Saints commemorates not just the martyrs of the early Church and those canonised, but all members of that ‘cloud of witnesses’ who proclaim Jesus Christ as Lord – including us.

However, in the tenth century, as All Saints’ Day tended to focus on Patriarchs, Prophets and martyrs, a commemoration on 2 November was instituted to honour and pray for all the faithful departed.

All Hallow’s Eve (Halloween today), All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day form the triduum of Allhallowtide. (“Hallow” simply means “holy” as in “Hallowed be thy name.”) The arrival to the US in the mid-Nineteenth century of migrants with strong Celtic roots increased the popularity of this celebration.

It was also influenced by the Mexican celebration of The Day of the Dead, which is more a time of joy than mourning.

Almost as old as the celebration of All Saints’ Day is the tradition associated with All Hallow’s Eve.

A popular medieval practice was to make simple desserts, “soul cakes”, for children who would go door to door begging for the cakes, much like modern “trick or treaters.”

For every cake received, the child was required to say a prayer for the dead relatives of the giver. In the US today, a much-secularised Halloween is third only to Christmas and Thanksgiving in terms of retail sales.

The Reformers in the Anglican tradition made no provision for All Souls’ Day in the Book of Common Prayer, emphasising that we are all saints by our baptism and faith.

However, from the 19th century, through the Oxford Movement, All Souls’ Day begun to be observed by Anglicans.
All Souls’ Day or the Commemoration of All Faithful Departed was introduced into the Episcopal Prayer Book in 1979.

In Scripture, we are given the greatest assurances of the salvation of our loved ones through faith in Jesus Christ. He tells us,

“As the Father raises the dead and gives them life, so also the Son gives life to whom he will.”
Jn 5:21 And to whom does he bequeath eternal life? “Whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgement but has passed from death to life.” Jn 5:24 When we speak of the ‘faithful departed’ we mean those whose final choice, even if at the final moment, was to repent; trusting in God’s grace and mercy to ensure none of the flock is lost.

We hold of this blessed assurance from the crucifixion narrative when Jesus promises the repentant criminal, “Today you will be with me in Paradise!” Luke 23:43 Let us pray for our faithful departed loved ones, as we pray for each another, that God works in them and us, to save and nurture and bring to fruition our fragments of faith, hope and love, so that we may behold the glory of God and enjoy perfect fellowship with the saints and the whole host of heaven.

Guy Hewitt serves God and remains committed to Barbados. He can be reached at guyhewitt@gmail.com