The absence of fathers in the lives of young males is at the root of many issues negatively impacting this nation’s young men.
This is the assertion of the founder of the empowerment group, Save Our Sons, Carol Farnum who is advocating for more men in society to step up and fill in for those boys who are in desperate need of a positive male figure in their lives. Speaking to the media on the sidelines of the foundation’s march against gun violence which started at the General Post Office at Cheapside and concluded at the Freedom Park at Golden Square on Sunday, Farnum said something needs to be done so that many more young lives are not lost.
She noted that for years she has been keeping her ear to the ground and talking to, not only young men, but men in general trying to ascertain the areas that needed correction. She concluded that the presence of men, particularly in the lives of boys, could potentially be instrumental to stymie the perceived behavioral decline among males.
“What I found is that men not having a father in their lives plays a big role. You would come across men that are grandfathers and when you talk about them not having a father, they are almost on the brink of tears not knowing who their father is or their father not playing a role in their lives. We as women need to address that also. I tell women, you can feed a son, you can raise a son but you cannot teach him to be a man. Men do that,” Farnum stressed.
She also believes the school has a significant role to play but it must first seek to address the void which allows boys to slip through the cracks and leave school without being able to read. Though not presenting any scientific evidence, Farnum contended that this occurs because a higher proportion of males have dyslexia, attention deficit disorder (ADD) and other learning challenges but they often go under-diagnosed.
“Everybody pushes the girls; everybody wants the girls to be tops and everything but where are the boys? There are a lot of young boys out there, the interest isn’t there. They need the interest from down in primary school. Even if you look at teachers, all the teachers are women, even in the school there are no men to even teach the boys [their] roles and the boys are falling through from primary school level. There is a lot of dyslexia, ADD especially in boys that is a problem and I don’t think education wise it is being addressed.”
On the other hand, a supporter of SOS, John Maxwell believed that fundamentally the spiritual problem is what is impacting the nation, the fruits of which are seen predominantly in the lives of young people and in particular, young men. And while he supports corporal punishment, he does not believe that hanging or threats could save Barbados and change the current propensity for gun violence because the value of life has been lost to young people.
He however argued that young people cannot shoulder the blame solely because their mentality has in many ways been taught and fostered by the adults in their lives.
“The adults are the ones who have to make the effort to shape the thinking that prevails in our society and recognise where they have gone wrong and why they have lost their influence over our young people. By doing that, they could be a re-dawning of those values within our society that would cause young people to recognise that is not the way to go,” Maxwell added. (KC)