#BTColumn – Not here to be sexualized

One of the desires I have always had is to encourage young women to see this space not just as mine, but one I was holding for them to be able to articulate their issues and challenges. This week, I hand over to T’afari Steede. She has gone through a trauma and wants to use writing as one of her healing mechanisms. I appreciate her earnest sharing and her claim of this space as hers:

“I am a 21-year-old Barbadian woman and I was fired for speaking up about sexual harassment. I am a part of the next generation of Barbadians who will be expected to support the National Insurance Scheme and keep my country turning over. However, I see a problem between how things are done in Barbados currently and the life I want for myself as a young woman.

“I frequented the store I eventually secured a job at while completing my CAPE examinations in art & design. I did not know the male owner beyond a customer-based relationship. I was approached about working for his company while completing my undergraduate studies in Literatures in English at the Cave Hill Campus. I was very excited about working in a field related to my studies to both earn some extra cash and get more acquainted with the tools of my trade.

“I worked there for about six months until the unfortunate incident I got fired for. On that day, the male employer hugged me. I became stiff and told him I was uncomfortable. This was not the first time he tried to hug me, but he always insisted he was being light-hearted. As the day progressed, I endured roving stares from my male employer, and I sought to avoid them and get on with my work.

“Later in the day, as a female customer left the store, the owner began to compare me to her, saying that I was ‘beautiful, intelligent and sexy’ and much more appealing than the customer who had left. I told him I felt uncomfortable being called sexy and asked him to desist from referring to me in that manner. He grew agitated and said I was being ‘stupid’ and ‘frivolous’ and asked ‘why would an adult woman in 2020 be offended by being called sexy!’

“I was shocked and upset by this response but I continued to try to salvage the situation because I really wanted to keep my job. When next I asked my male employer a question to be able to assist a customer, he blew up at me and informed me that ‘I felt I was special, he could not call me baby, darling, or honey.’ He informed me that if he could not call me baby, honey or darling, I could forget about a future at his store and I should get the {expletive} out of his place.

“I called his business partner and wife, hoping she would assist me, to no avail. I did not know what to do, and I called my mummy. She told me to leave immediately because she was worried for my safety.

“I have interacted with older men all my life, whether it was at an educational institution or a previous place of work, and I have never been subjected to such behaviour. I remain traumatized by this situation.

“My mum encouraged me to file a report with the police. This was the beginning of another bitter sweet experience. It was the first time I learnt that a person does not have the right to be considered unfairly dismissed unless they have worked for more than a year. The police did, however, charge the employer with assault and I recognize that is more than some other victims of sexual harassment get out of the police.

“I also took the police’s advice to contact the labour office in order to address the issues of sexual harassment and wrongful dismissal. I felt as though my matter took too long to be addressed and in frustration, I vented about my issue on social media. I found relief in the outpouring of support from people who read of my situation.

“I was reassured that people understood what had happened to me was wrong and should be addressed. It was important to feel that support from people outside my immediate family and friends.

“This situation made me aware that while victims of sexual harassment and sexual assault are encouraged to speak up, it is quite difficult to find someone to speak up to. I was lucky to be connected to the right women who helped me. This was one of the major benefits to reaching out through social media. However, the burden should not be on the victim or these female activists to provide justice. There has to be an easier process.

“Women should not have to experience these awful situations in the workplace, particularly young women who are only just gaining experience. This sets the tone for acquiescence of male entitlement.

“I was told by the police officer that dealt with my matter, ‘At least I would know what it is like in the future.’ He put some kind of responsibility on me to do better in the future, even as he accepted how ‘unfortunate’ the situation was.

“Why are women expected to put up with this treatment? Why is finding someone to speak to such a difficult process? Why are labour acts designed to protect the employers and their abuses of power? Why should I be okay with being called ‘sexy’ in a professional environment?

“I am hopeful that my situation may be adequately addressed. I have grown in a world where I have seen Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein brought to account for their misdeeds against women. I spent the last few years fascinated by the #metoo movement. I know that the world has changed and I expect Barbados to change too.”

T’afari Steede is an emerging artist and 21st Century Barbadian employee.

Marsha Hinds is the President of the

National Organisation of Women.