The past eight months have been painful for 69-year-old Hazel Clarke who cries everyday for her child, Pauline Clarke, who was gunned down in 2018.
But she is equally upset that no one has yet been charged for the murder.
Hazel who said she has no hope that her broken heart would ever heal from the loss of her 38-year-old daughter who was killed in the full view of her 17-year-old child, in front of Pro-Fit Gym, Civilian Road, Bush Hall, St Michael.
The elderly women said what she wants more than anything else in the world, is “justice for my child”.
Pauline had just completed a work out session and started her car to leave the gym, when an unknown assailant approached her vehicle and fired multiple shots that pierced different parts of her body.
“It really hurts to see that there were murders since then and they hold people for them and them ain’t hold nobody for my child. Murders after murders and them holding people and not a soul them ain’t hold for my child,” she said.
Hazel lamented that her days are never easy, as she struggles to cope with the death, in addition to several health challenges.
She said though her appetite returned weeks after the July 10 killing, at times she still feels as though something is blocking her throat whenever she thinks about that cold morning when police lifted the cloth that covered Pauline’s body to allow her to see her face.
“All I keep remembering is the morning I talk with her at the door and tell her get to work safe. I didn’t know that would be the last time I would see my child. When I went to the scene the night I never see my child until minutes past two the Wednesday morning.
“She was there laying down like a dog with something throw over she. They tell me them only showing me the face, but all her face was swell up and blood was coming through her mouth. She had four shots, one in the jaw, one in the neck, one underneath the arm, and one in the hand. I want the police to get whoever did that to my child,” Hazel said, bursting into tears.
“I cry for my child every day. It ain’t a day that pass that I don’t cry for Pauline. When I am sleeping it is okay. But you see from the time I wake up and thank God for helping me to see another day, I remember Pauline,” a grieving Hazel said.
“I can’t see spirits, as they would say. But two Fridays ago like she was here in the house because I could smell the perfume that she use to use strong. And I turn and say ‘Pauline you come and look for your mummy, she here trying to hold up, but it is hard’. It affected me really hard,” she continued.
The mother said she was saddened that Pauline, who had plans to celebrate her 39th birthday last December, did not live to see her daughter’s 18th birthday on April 12.
“Nor she ain’t live to see my 70th birthday which is the 16th of next month, just days after her daughter’s birthday. It is a hard bone to swallow. I don’t think I would ever get that bone swallowed,” she shared.
Pauline’s daughter is now studying at a tertiary institution.
Hazel said she says a daily prayer that her 17-year-old granddaughter, whom she explained is still in pain and finding it difficult to cope with the circumstances of her mother’s death, remains focused on her studies and achieving her chosen career, as Pauline would want her to.
“She don’t like to talk about it, but she is trying. I thought she would have broken down, but she is holding on. Her father is really there for her. This is hard for all of us. I remember when I read these stories in the paper, I used to say I feel for that family. But I did not know that it would land at my doorstep on the 10th of July last year,” she said, as the tears streamed down her cheeks.
Hazel often sits in her home and thinks about what her youngest of two children could have done to deserve such a cruel death.
“I don’t know what she has done the person, or if she do anyone anything. You would more hear me and somebody at it than the two of my children. Pauline and nobody ain’t use to be at no war. Pauline had a lot of friends.
“But only God knows He see who do it, and He knows who do it. But He will work with it in his own time. Every morning and every night I pray to Him for them to hold somebody. But even that can’t bring her back, she is gone for good,” said Hazel, who is calling for an end to the current spate of gun related killings that have been affecting Barbados since the turn of 2018.