UK activist and founder of Fathers4Justice Matt O’Connor is recommending that Barbados holds a referendum on equal rights of fathers in an effort to introduce a 50/50 shared care law that gives fathers equal parenting rights as mothers.
O’Connor told Barbados TODAY he believed too many fathers were being denied the opportunity to spend more time with their children and being more involved in their lives after the mothers take them to court for child support.
O’Connor, who was recently on vacation in Barbados with his family, has joined local men’s rights advocate Kammie Holder in calling for fathers in Barbados to be given equal rights to care for their children.
“In the case of Barbados, many Bajan dads want to know how their children are doing at school, but they are denied. It is outrageous, absolutely outrageous,” he said.
“I think what we need to do is have a debate in Barbados, in Jamaica, in St Lucia, in Antigua and right across the Caribbean, about what is the role of fathers and how do we stop this global pandemic of fatherlessness happening in the Caribbean
“There was no referendum as I understand it, on becoming a republic, but I think there should be a referendum on equal rights of the fathers. I think Barbados could lead the way. We could have a minister for men. Why can’t we have a minister for men, looking at all the social issues and deprivation affecting single fathers here in Barbados, but also looking at equal rights issues,” he questioned.
He acknowledged that while there were some “deadbeat dads”, there were equally some “muppet moms”, but the legal system using a broad-brush approach to deny fathers certain visitation and other rights to their children was simply unfair.
“What I would encourage the government here to do is to look at child support as being emotional and financial support. That is the way we need to look at it,” he suggested.
He argued that the court system was creating a “toxic legacy” by not allowing fathers certain privileges with their children. He also warned that excluding a father from his child’s life could have devastating and long-term consequences for both the father and the child.
O’Connor, who came to the brink of suicide close to two decades ago after he was involved in a bitter dispute over seeing his sons, said he believed it was the responsibility of governments to “step up to the plate and say ‘look, this is an intolerable situation’.
“If we are going to be living in a responsible society that is trying to give children the best of both their parents then we need to have a legislative framework that enshrines the rights of both parents to see their children,” he said.
He explained “This could save Barbados a lot of money potentially in terms of where the benefits are given out. It helps the mother share the childcare because you are plugging in the other half of the child’s family. . . . If you’ve got a father who is sharing the care of the children you then start your own business, it allows you more personal freedom, you work for more money, it is a win-win scenario.
“The existing system in Barbados makes no sense at all and it has to change. It should start with the female prime ministers here, it should start with a debate or referendum on fathers’ rights and we’ve got to start the debate right here right now,” he said.
His comments came as he held talks with Holder about a global convention on fathers’ rights to help raise awareness and encourage change. They are hoping to have the convention in the UK this November.
Holder, the spokesman for Barbados Fathers4Justice, has been fighting to spend more time with his daughter for over the years. He told Barbados TODAY he believed the present administration could do more when it comes to shared parenting.
“Very often the Government makes a lot of gynocentric statements such as they are building a family court to make it better for single mothers,” he said.
“I think there is a level of stubbornness and I think we have gone so far north in an effort to correct gender inequality that we are now abrogating the rights of fathers,” said Holder, who pointed out that some mothers were being “allowed to maliciously omit” the father’s name from a school registration form.
“You have a situation also in 2022 where support in kind is still missing. So you may have a parent who is unemployed and is under court-ordered maintenance. They will build up arrears and rather than saying support in kind is a tool where the extended family can chip in and contribute, it still has not happened. Repeated calls to the government have gone unanswered,” he complained.
marlonmadden@barbadostoday.bb
