Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by the author(s) do not represent the official position of Barbados TODAY.
By Pastor Everette W. Howell
Our Republic is experiencing some behaviours and trends which must not be ignored or encouraged. What is put in place to arrest these negative trends must not exacerbate the situation or create fear or distrust.
It is important therefore that there be a proper identification of the problem, the possible causes as well as the appropriate long-term solution to the threats. Some have posited that better policing will do the trick. Others think that with better parenting, our communities will be safer. Yet others are sure that should churches improve on their spiritual offerings, these current challenges will likely disappear.
None of these recommendations or suggestions will work by itself as a long-term solution, for the following reasons. There are many factors which contribute to who we are and why we do what we do and the way we choose to do it. The human mind does not rush to do a new action without processing the thought from an idea to an action – (attention, interest, desire, decision and action).
There are also prenatal influences which impact the unborn, predisposing it to certain preferences (music, drugs, parental stress, environment, alcohol, etc.)
Educators agree that a significant percentage of a child’s character is formed by age seven. What happens to that child during the first seven years of exposure is critical to the outcome of that child, for as the twig is bent, so is the tree inclined.
During these formative years, the child is taught right from wrong. It should be the recipient of love as well as responding to love. It is taught respect for the rights of other children. It learns about accountability for good conduct as well as for inappropriate behaviour. It is that period of learning, being trained and disciplined, which is so critical to the future choices in adult life.
It is therefore very important that potential parents (secondary school students), babysitters, child care attendants, and primary caregivers (male and female) be trained in parenting skills so that there is consistency in what is transmitted by both precept and example.
Another very important consideration is recognition of the changes which have taken place among the four primary influencers of youth and family. During the 1960s, the four primary influencers of youth and family values and behaviours were: the family, school, friends and peers, followed by the church.
Over the years that has changed to: the media (MTV), friends and peers, the family and the school. The church is no longer in the top four of influencers. The pursuit of pleasure and satiating that craving has become of greater interest than the need for spiritual development.
“Music interprets, defines life for teenagers. Music has served as the most effective teachers, preachers,” according to one commentator. A music composer and music therapy researcher says that, “Music is energy, just like food. Having the right music around the house is as important as having the right food and the right vitamins.
“Musical junk food can actually rot the foundation of one’s faith. For young people to live day by day… with vulgar entertainment may tear down what they have heard in church and learned in Sunday school,” is another observation.
It is difficult for one hand to clap, just as it is difficult to straighten out a bent tree without doing serious damage to that tree.
For long-term success, there must be a collaborative effort between all potential influencers before the birth, after birth, early environment, (home, babysitting, school, community, church). It still takes the village to prepare that child to live successfully and acceptably in that village. Unfortunately, most grandmothers do not seem to live in that village with their grandchildren, and so that very important layer of
discipline is often left to others as single parents and families go to work.
When we want a good race-horse, attention is paid to every aspect of that horse long before it appears on the race-track. The owners expend time, money, care, and love in order to get the best long-term results. It is a priority. Our children are of greater value than our horses, so let us put in place what is required to secure our Republic before the horse gets out of the stable.
Youth must be prepared for parenting. Their formal education must include those vital skills.
Parents, caregivers and other influencers must demonstrate by precept and example that they value and live by those principles they want the children to inculcate.
Since researchers are convinced that, “the personality of a child is fairly set as early as first grade” (age 6-7), it is incumbent that attention is paid to what is done or is not done during those formative years.
Moral, spiritual and ethical values must be practised by adults so that there is consistency in transmission of the same on all levels of instruction.
Trained counsellors will also have to be assigned to schools and communities in order to identify those parents who lack the parenting skills and those students who display, at that formative age, a need for corrective help. This help must be corrective and transformative rather than punitive.
May our visionary Republic rise so that the challenges are faced in word and in deed.
Pastor Everette W. Howell is a certified Family Life Educator and a retired ordained Pastor of the Seventh Day Adventist Church.
