HealthLocal NewsOpinion #BTColumn – Mental health battle: Me vs Me by Barbados Today 06/04/2023 written by Barbados Today Updated by Sasha Mehter 06/04/2023 4 min read A+A- Reset Social expectations of men to not appear vulnerable take on a different dimension for Black men, whose emotions may also be seen as a threat. (Shutterstock) FacebookTwitterLinkedinWhatsappEmail 368 Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by the author(s) do not represent the official position of Barbados TODAY. By Nicholai Peters Self-care, self-care; self-care. The words we so often overlook. I can attest that life indeed can change in the blink of an eye. Plagued by detrimental thoughts, plagued with distrust, plagued with anxiety โ these are a few things that life threw at me simultaneously. Never in my life could I have imagined being crippled by the aforementioned. During this time, it can feel like there is no one to turn to and surely no way out. This is far from the truth, but perception in this state can be overwhelming and also tainted, which leads to that thought process.ย What is mental health? Itโs the thing that should be paramount in our lives. What does it mean to you? In my situation, dealing with my mental health meant hiding from everyone and everything I loved, as I was so terrified of being vulnerable. On one hand, time for yourself can be necessary and beneficial, but in the same breath thereโs such a thing as excessive โintrospectionโ, which can lead to darker thoughts and, subsequently, depression. Iโm no psychologist, but what I do know is donโt become engulfed in your issues. Donโt shut everyone out. After all, the people around you or those who express concern cannot empathize with what they do not know. Regarding friends and empathy, another lesson is to be gentle with yourself and the process of some people understanding your situation, considering not everyone will have the same reaction or โlenienceโ as it pertains to your situation. ย In the space of six months, I was hospitalized on three occasions. No one likes to or wants to go to the hospital, but my health had plummeted to lows I didnโt know were possible. God knows how many plans I had, how many things I wanted to make a reality. Iโve never seen so many doctors in my life, I almost thought it was an โepisodeโ of Greyโs Anatomy. In all seriousness, I never thought my brain could collapse to the point that I couldnโt walk for a period of time or even hold objects without shaking. Quite frankly, I thought I was dying on multiple occasions. All of this at the age of 20, fresh off the best/most productive summer Iโve ever had. Why was this happening to me? Why me, of all the people I know and in my age group? From mould poisoning to this other diagnosis, to yet another diagnosis โ it all felt like my world was crashing in front of my eyes. For so long, I couldnโt recognize the man in the mirror anymore.ย You Might Be Interested In Crystal Beckles-Holder, 2nd runner up in regional competition GUYANA: Body of child found after gold mine collapses Barbadians asked to help with return tickets for Haitians I thank God for placing the correct people in my life to help me recover. Iโm not where I want to be, whether it be academically, socially, but most important of all, my health. Every day, I try to challenge myself to do something out of my new but temporary normal to expedite the recovery process. From not walking, talking or eating, to finally being able to do said things and pick back up the pen and paper (quite literally). I was scared, petrified really, to try again.ย The lines and my vision had gotten so blurry I didnโt know where to start. In recent times, Iโd met a few people who seemed to be genuinely invested in me, but the natural self-sabotage I engaged in always led to my demise.ย I donโt want to be the boy that โburns down the village because they didnโt embrace himโ anymoreโฆ as I quoted in my youth parliament speech quite some time agoโฆ Everything Iโve said thus far, whether publicly or in private, itโs been about my personal struggle to find my way from the back of society to trying to become a beacon of hope for people like me. I know relatively good times, but I also know struggle all too well. Every time I thought I was making progress, I hit a wall again. Iโm trying my best to be the man God, my family and friends know I can be. The only fear I have in this life is not being able to reward my family and friends for all they have done. I have to figure this out if Iโm to give them the life they deserve.ย Iโll leave you with this, check in on a friend, whether old or young. Mental health struggles are more prevalent than some of us can imagine.ย Only God and time will tell what becomes of Nicholai Petersโฆ the boy they overlooked.ย Nicholai Peters, man of the people and for the people. Barbados Today Stay informed and engaged with our digital news platform. The leading online multimedia news resource in Barbados for news you can trust. You may also like Garrett defends Monde Mas amid foreign investment concerns 05/04/2026 Autism association strengthens services with new centre 05/04/2026 Three Barbadians qualify for 200m CARIFTA finals 05/04/2026