Calls for cultural shift as abuse against men rises

A growing number of men are suffering domestic abuse in silence, with advocates warning that stigma, ridicule and weak enforcement are preventing victims from seeking help and exposing deep cultural biases within the justice system.

The phenomenon was highlighted during the National Consultation on Victims and Victim Support, with Minister of Legal Affairs and Criminal Justice Michael Lashley joining Fabian Sargeant, the head of the Men’s Empowerment Network, in calling for systemic education and urgent cultural shifts to address the issue.

Lashley recalled a powerful example from his early career as a practising attorney in the magistrates’ courts. “I was in court, and a man came in with an application for a protection order… he [said] he is scared for his life and all that, and the whole courtroom started laughing,” Lashley revealed, noting that the mockery followed the victim out of the building. “When he went out on the court steps, people were laughing and pointing.”

The minister lamented the deep-seated cultural double standard that drives such reactions. “We got this view that men should not be protected either,” Lashley said, praising the male victim’s choice to seek legal recourse rather than retaliating with violence. “He didn’t take up a big rock or a big hammer or a big stick and throw some blows to the woman… but stereotyping always calls it.”

He emphasised that every interest group in the criminal justice system has a critical role to play in shifting these cultural biases, noting that “an order on paper is only as good as its enforcement”.

Sergeant strongly endorsed recent comments regarding the growing number of male victims who suffer in silence due to socialisation and deep-seated stigma.

He told Barbados TODAY: “Research would highlight that a lot of women were the ones who would have suffered based on domestic violence… but we do have a growing situation where men are victims,” Sergeant stated during the symposium. “Because of our culture, because of the way that we pretty much socialise, men don’t see it fit to want to report and they suffer in silence.”

This silence triggers a severe domino effect that damages male self-esteem, diminishes workplace productivity, and ultimately inundates social systems, including psychiatric hospitals, he suggested. The trauma of abuse is frequently masked under other guises because men often fail to recognise their experiences as domestic abuse, he added.

“There are men who go through, who are victims of violence, but do not see it as abuse. They just see it as a little problem that I can get over, whether it is a man being stabbed, being scalded, being beaten, or being hit,” Sergeant said, adding that historic public messaging has almost exclusively framed women as the sole victims.

“For us as an organisation, education is going to be extremely important in terms of trying to change the narrative and let them understand what is abuse against men.”

The discussion also highlighted the legal protections available to male victims, such as protection orders. But advocates pointed out that the existence of legal frameworks is not enough if the human elements within those systems remain compromised by prejudice.

Sergeant raised concerns about the reception male victims often receive when attempting to seek help from law enforcement or social services, noting instances of dismissive attitudes where victims are laughed at or have their reports minimised.

Looking towards long-term solutions, the symposium stressed that the well-being of the next generation depended on adults regulating their emotions. He warned that failing to address how adults manage conflict directly affects youth development.

“An emotionally unintelligent parent cannot raise an emotionally intelligent child,” Sergeant said. “It has to start with parents and being empowered so that we can do better generally.”

(RR)