NOW urges schools to foster confidence, prevent gender-based abuse

Women’s advocate Melissa Savoury-Gittens has suggested that programmes in schools to build self-confidence and self-worth among girls and boys would also prevent abusive relationships and reduce gender-based violence.

As the world observes the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence which began Tuesday, Savoury-Gittens, the president of the National Organisation of Women (NOW), expressed concern about the number of young women and girls who fall prey to abusers because of low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth.

Too often, the focus is on the result — abuse — rather than on the factors that lead to it, she declared.

“How can we strengthen girls to the point where they can identify a toxic relationship? Then they can identify different types of abuse, because again, we look at most of the physical and not the mental abuse that transpires,” she said in an interview with Barbados TODAY.

She noted that outsiders often judge victims, but her research and outreach in schools show the problem frequently begins long before abuse occurs.

“We need to instil more confidence in our young ladies. We need to teach them how to love themselves, how to be proud of the way they look, be proud of simple things.”

Savoury-Gittens explained that many young women enter abusive relationships because they struggle with self-esteem.

“They don’t feel good about who they are and then they come across some person who may say to them: ‘I love you,’ and it’s awesome… they may show them one or two things or show them one or two ways that you love them and they’re sold on this guy or sold on this relationship and then they’re willing to take abuse.”

She made a call to encourage children to show love and respect for one another during the 16 Days of Activism.

“If we can encourage, ask each other to encourage each other, teach your girl children, your boy children to show love, to show respect to each other, then coming up into adulthood, it will help. It doesn’t start at the end, there’s a beginning, and this is to help get to the end of the problem… it will help reduce those numbers, those one in three, and it will help to change persons.”

She stressed the importance of structured guidance to help children transition safely into adulthood.

“People blame parents, but how much time does your child spend at home versus at school or extracurricular activities? I think there needs to be programming within the schools to teach both boys and girls, not only girls alone, because men are the main perpetrators. We need to teach them how to talk to a female, how to treat a female, and how to treat each other, and that will help overall with violence on the whole.”

Savoury-Gittens also suggested that early education should focus on teaching respect and healthy communication.

“This will help with all the fighting that is happening because they’re not fighting for anything. When you do the research, you see what they were fighting about — because this boy told me, ‘Ugly,’ or this boy said something about my mother, or this boy said something that wasn’t nice. It builds up anger within them, and then they don’t know how to react, how to get it out.”

She also advocated for more school counsellors or more frequent visits.

“I’ve called for more counsellors within the schools, and I don’t think that has changed. But the counsellors sometimes only go to these schools once a week. These children need more help than just counselling once a week.”

Savoury-Gittens also backed the proposals for having all students participate in some level of community service, an idea mooted by Minister of Educational Transformation Chad Blackman.

“That helps build character, it helps build a proper mindset, and it helps build community overall.”

louriannegraham@barbadostoday.bb