Of mental health and revenge porn

- by Barbados Today May 15, 2020

There are two stories which emerged in news cycles this week that I wanted to offer further comment on. One highlighted the growing trend of revenge pornography and the other looked at the less discussed issue of women affected by mental illness.

There was a story carried in a section of the media about the squalid conditions in which two children were living. The reporting was, to my mind, completely salacious and useless. The story seemed to be the efforts of family members close to the situation to absolve themselves of responsibility in how their close relatives were living. While I think it is clear to many who know and understand the signs of mental wellness or illness issues that there was more to the story, that aspect was never brought to the fore.

This experience of mothers impacted by mental illness or wellness issues is not uncommon. The grandfather of the children indicated that he did not want his daughter back at the house, but he would repair it and leave his grandchildren there. This cannot be seen as an overall solution to the issues at hand.

There are very specific reasons why there was garbage in the house. According to the grandfather who had a responsibility for caring for his own daughter, the mother of the children, she had been keeping garbage around her years before this incident. That was a cry for help that was overlooked and obviously, which left unaddressed, grew. The behaviour may now seem completely out of control, but the story of this mother and the struggles of her children are not of recent vintage.

We have a tendency to want to demonize mothers who are affected by mental health challenges. It serves no good end. When mothers suffer from cancer or diabetes, families actually find ways to support children and their ill parents. However, when the issues are mental, there is a completely different approach. The first tendency is to try to separate a mother and her children and also to cause fear and hatred between mother and offspring.

This causes stress and confusion in children. Some of them may even begin to struggle with their own mental well being. I was not only disappointed that the story appeared the way it did to cause further scrutiny and agony for the children involved, but only because of the lack of understanding and support for the woman at the centre of the story. Her needs and challenges were overlooked and downplayed, and she was demonized in the most unfortunate way. Alas, the portrayal is symptomatic of how we generally treat mothers affected by mental wellness or illness issues in Barbados.

I made comments related to revenge porn in the past news week. In specific reference to the story being covered, I indicated that we needed to start to think about strengthening the ways that the Computer Misuse Act and the Domestic Violence (Protection Orders) Act can be streamlined to bring stronger remedies to victims of revenge porn. The Domestic Violence (Protection Orders) Act recognizes the misuse of technology as problematic behaviour amounting to harassment.

Where a person is found guilty of such behaviour and a Protection Order is granted, counselling can be ordered. I do believe that creating synergy between the Computer Misuse Act and mechanisms in the Protection Orders Act can go some way in fighting the scourge that is revenge porn.

I also pointed to teaching women and girls safer uses of technology as another way of combating the problem, and some people read this as victim blaming. Where a man shares images of a woman on the internet to cause her embarrassment or ridicule, that man has committed a crime and should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. As a society, our ire should fall on him.

At the same time, we have to talk women through the use of technology in ways that keep them from becoming unintentional victims to acts they did not intend. To say the one is not to negate the other, and to say that women have the agency not to fall victim to revenge pornography, is in no way to victim blame. Women who enjoy making x-rated material with partners can do it if they so choose, but one of the features we see in revenge porn over and again is that male participants are unidentifiable. Women can be smarter in their creation of x-rated material by ensuring it is a mutually shared and risk balanced activity.

Further, perhaps images made could be saved on hard drive devices and kept by the woman and not both partners. Or upon dissolution of the union there can be agreement about destroying images made. To indicate that women needed to be taught skills about negotiating technology in safe ways is to recognize that women have the skills and power to control all aspects of their lives.

The same way that we teach women about red flags in relationships that give rise to intimate partner violence, we can teach stronger technology habits. Social problems are complex ones and at all times, in looking for solutions, we must bear that in mind.

Marsha Hinds is the President of the National Organisation of Women.

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